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Hurricane Asshat

So Hurricane Isaias "stormed" Wink up the Eastern Coast of the US after wreaking havoc over Puerto Rico and the Bahamas. By the time it reached New England it was downgraded to a Tropical storm and eventually dissipated over Quebec, Canada. Such FUN!

There is a huge tree just to the side of my house. It is really close and dangerous, but it is a city owned tree and they won't cut it down. When I say dangerous, I really mean it. Since I have been living here that tree has dropped branches during various storms. One crushed this old Volvo I had. Two branches fell across the whole road during a bad ice storm quite a few years ago and smashed the roof of the house across the street, as well as pulling down electric cables and blocking the street for two days. Branches have fallen down and caused minor property damage numerous times.

The latest branch incident occurred during the storm, with two 20 -30 foot branches falling down just in front of my house (or as Moros says my garden shed Tongue ). Luckily there was no damage to my house this time, but we lost power for a while. The utility company showed up around midnight as once again, the stupid branches yanked down electrical wiring. The city department of public works came by this past Monday and cut up and removed the branches. The city pays for all these branch mishaps, yet it never occurs to them to...oh I don't know...cut the fricking thing down! Now I have to figure out who to contact at City Hall to get rid of this thing once and for all. I like trees, but not when they so clearly hold a grudge against me.

One somewhat silver lining happened when the tree branch crashed and blocked the street several years ago. That particular branch was very popular with the local birdies who had perfect aim when it came to relieving themselves. White streaks on my car and super special purple streaks in late spring/summer when the blackberry bush by the driveway had fruit.

So this whole tree thing topped off the somewhat crappy month of July I experienced. I think I may petition you guys and pack my things and move in with one of you. Although... I have a definite moody and melancholy outlook on life much of the time, so I would probably be asked to leave soon after my arrival. Poosh, I guess I will have to stay at home in my garden shed. *sigh*

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I have seen similar problems here and it's more the local Historical society/environmentalists blocking the removal of a "historical landmark" (yes that is applied to old trees REGARDLESS of the tree's health)
Dwarf

Kathy you could stay here, but I think you would become more grumpy. One bedroom apartment filled with an elf and two hedgehogs is a tight fit, adding one more would be tight. I only have a one car garage and on street parking is a bitch. Some people end up parking 2 or 3 blocks away! So stay in your garden shed its much quieter and safer Smile
Elf

bare_elf wrote:

Kathy you could stay here, but I think you would become more grumpy. One bedroom apartment filled with an elf and two hedgehogs is a tight fit, adding one more would be tight. I only have a one car garage and on street parking is a bitch. Some people end up parking 2 or 3 blocks away! So stay in your garden shed its much quieter and safer Smile

Elf

Need I say more kathy, just be careful of which way its gonnna topple over though, so yeah, you might get 5 to 10 in the state pen if you're caught at it but, you'll also get 4 meals a day, a nice warm bed and probably some weirdo to talk to who thinks the sun shines out of your.....
There is another way of getting rid of it which if carried out successfully wont involve the state pen, it involves a drill, some powerful weedkiller and a hoodie for covering yourself up with, drill and drill bit will have to be pretty robust as that tree sounds as though its as tough as old boots. Girl Power kathy.

Moros wrote:

Need I say more kathy, just be careful of which way its gonnna topple over though, so yeah, you might get 5 to 10 in the state pen if you're caught at it but, you'll also get 4 meals a day, a nice warm bed and probably some weirdo to talk to who thinks the sun shines out of your.....
There is another way of getting rid of it which if carried out successfully wont involve the state pen, it involves a drill, some powerful weedkiller and a hoodie for covering yourself up with, drill and drill bit will have to be pretty robust as that tree sounds as though its as tough as old boots. Girl Power kathy.

It is a tough old tree. I don't know if could manage to drill it even with girl power, Laughing out loud but thanks for the encouragement. I notice that bare elf was the only one to extend an invite. Do the menfolk think I have cooties?

kathycf wrote:

It is a tough old tree. I don't know if could manage to drill it even with girl power, Laughing out loud but thanks for the encouragement. I notice that bare elf was the only one to extend an invite. Do the menfolk think I have cooties?

Now now kathy, us menfolk have to watch our behaviour in these sad times, we wouldn't want you to think that we were hitting on you now would we, (I think that last part is the correct Yankee terminology that you weirdos over the pond use). I have no idea what a cootie is (weirdo yanks strike again) I'm gathering that its not got anything to do with a cutie then, as in Halle Berry was a real cutie, infact she still is one. If you ever meet her tell her she's got a virile Englishman lusting over her body, (Oh my word I shouldn't have said that) crikey, you weirdo yanks are going to be berating me for telling the goddam truth. sigh.

Moros
As defined by Wikipedia: Cooties is a fictitious childhood disease. It is used in the United States and Canada as a rejection term and an infection tag game (such as Humans vs. Zombies). It is similar to the British 'dreaded lurgi', and to terms used in the Nordic countries, in Italy, Australia and New Zealand. A child is said to "catch" cooties through close contact with an "infected" person or from an opposite-sex child of a similar age. But I expect you already knew that. Get away Moros I do not want your cooties eeek a dreaded lurgi!!!

It is very easy to catch cooties but don't worry. Modern medicine has solved the problem.

kathycf wrote:
I notice that bare elf was the only one to extend an invite.

Here's hoping it doesn't end up the other way round through the elf being burnt out of home by one of California's current wildfires.

RSimpkinuk57 wrote:

Here's hoping it doesn't end up the other way round through the elf being burnt out of home by one of California's current wildfires.


Fires all around but nothing close to us. Yesterday the it was Orange/Red skies and so dark we had to turn the lights on inside just to see. Today it is just low level smoke, gray skies and cold for this time of year. Just very hard to breath if you go outside. Which we have not done for days.
Elf and Hedgehogs.