Dad...
| Submitted by kathycf on Mon, 2007-05-07 11:53 | ||
A few weeks ago, my father was at the doctor's office and it was found that he had some malignant spots on his face. So, a week ago he had them removed. It wasn't surgery, the malignancies were removed under local anesthetic in the office. One of them was a bit deeper rooted then they expected, but they were able to cut it away. It is terribly disconcerting because my father is 78. My mother died several years ago of cancer and ours is not a big family. When my father goes, that leaves my sister and myself, and we aren't close. It is a weird feeling to think I'll be on "my own", even though I have been on my own since the age of 19. Death is inevitable, so there isn't anything I can do except learn to cope...and sometimes that is easier said than done. I know there are a few people in the community who have experienced losses recently, and my heart goes out to them. There really isn't anything that any of us can do, except express our grief and come to grips with it. Often death leaves us with so many other unresolved feelings regarding the loved one, in addition to loss and it gets complicated. blogs: |
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Comments
I know the feeling Kathy. My mother was taken by cancer 8 years ago at the age of 63. My father had a severe stroke from which he never recovered in 2003, age now is 77. The man was a bear and seeing him totally dependent on others for even the most menial of tasks is disheartening. My only sibling is a brother two years my elder, and we have never gotten along, although in the past couple of years since I tried committing suicide, (spent the first six days of new year 2005 in a coma from an attempted seizure medication overdose) we have made progress in tolerance and understanding. Just remember that God has a special place in his kingdom for everyone and we all go to a better place.
Thank you Volkan.
Families are so complicated. When I was little I used to wish I was one of the Waltons, or one of the Ingalls family. (little house on the prairie). It was so strange to watch families were people didn't hit and scream at each other or worse...
Cherishing what you do have (eg. some time left with your father, a surviving sister...), and remembering happier times is what I try to do when dealing with loss. Focusing on what's been lost is a slippery slope towards depression... and it took me many years to learn that fact after my mother passed (I was 9 years old).
I know how you are feeling Kathy... makes things feel more than disconcerting... Three years ago when my sister was taken from this world was a shock that I never quite ever got over. Hold tight to what you have for as long as it lasts, make sure to tell them how you feel so that there are no unresolved things in your mind when the passing occurs. I never got the chance with my sister, so I make sure that people know how I feel now, so that will never happen again. Give you Dad a hug from me.
Lili
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There is no point it is all a dream someday I will wake and really screem wishing I was back in this strange little dream.
Thank you Lili and Sharkull. Kind words and good advice.
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Colette
- you'll never walk alone, Miss K..
- you have the STD forumites to keep you company..!!
- ahoy there, shipmates!!
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..never mind the weather, just as long as we're together!
I know...You guys are so wonderful. Warm fuzzies.
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Colette
evrysink vill turn out fine..
hah, hah!
ja, und ve hef succezzfully transsssplaaanted
ze internet into ze patient's brain..
- he vill not notiss ze diffrenz - heh, heh!
- zere are bugz evryvhere,,!! :woot:
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..never mind the weather, just as long as we're together!
Heh heh...I can't see my dad with the internet in his brain....that has some serious ramifications.
*update* Looks like the old man will be ticking away for a few more years. All cancers succesfully removed (for now) and of course he is just too ornery to die.
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Colette
Sounds like good news there Kathy... glad to hear it.
..hurray - great news, Miss K!
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..never mind the weather, just as long as we're together!
Thank you both.
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Colette
Yes, that is great news. Glad to hear it.