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They're only called vacuum cleaners, because they were originally made for cleaning vacuums. Since vacuums are so hard to sustain down here at or near sea level, they got used for cleaning carpets instead. (Don't ask me who thought that carpets were similar). The Dyson can only be used for cleaning shperical sephrical round carpets.

I have a double-breasted suit that has buttons on both sides, but I don't have breasts (on any side). If I was a woman, would I get any buttons at all?

Unisex shirts have zippers. Everybody knows that!