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First with the thing about doing things that could poke one's eye out. I tended to listen to my grandpa when he said do not do that you could poke your eye out, because he wore an eye patch. It was not until I was grown that I discovered he did not poke his eye out doing something. He wanted to be a pirate! He was also born blind in that eye.

Second I like the idea or eyedea of Smart E Pants. For example if you texted or phoned the wrong person you could say "Sorry I butt dialed you by mistake and actually mean it. It could keep track of your measurements so you knew when you gained weight and where. Maybe they could tell you how much time you had before you must find a restroom, or have a moisture controlled drain, with auto dry.