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Cat Herding

As per normal I am busy herding cats. Wish they would listen when I tell them something. Conversation from this morning.
Mr. Cat, "The newspaper was delivered almost in the street again. I have the phone number of the delivery person somewhere in the house, can you find it?"
Elf "I can just call the newspaper delivery problem number and you could let me get it for you when I arrive."
Mr. Cat, "I want to call the delivery person directly, so look in the desk for the number. I can get my own paper as long as it is not in the street and I do not fall. I like to read it early"
[now Mr. Cat reads the paper at 4 PM the newspaper arrives at 5 AM]
Elf "How old is the number you want me to find?"
Mr. Cat, " He is a nice boy in high school and the number is maybe 10 years old."
Elf "He is most likely not delivering newspapers any longer. but I will look in the desk for the number."

[At this point I call the newspaper delivery problem number and explain to the support person that the paper needs to be delivered nearer the front door of the house because the person who gets it is 88 years old and has great difficulty walking and will not wait for me to arrive so I can bring the paper in. I told the newspaper if he fell attempting to pick up the news paper that there would be a large invoice in their mail box for the hospital bills. The newspaper person said that he would address the problem and delivery location should be adjusted by Monday.]

Elf "I looked in every cubby hole, drawer, folder in on or near the desk for the number and could not find it."
Mr. Cat, "Okay just call the newspaper on Monday" Then He goes into the den and searches all the places I just looked and tells me he could not find it and to call the paper on Monday.

At this point my head was ready to explode and it was only 10AM.
Next Mrs. Cat thinks she needs a laxative because she has not defalcated in two weeks. I told her it was two days, but she does not believe me and asks for a glass of prune juice. so I fill a half a glass, and she says MORE I NEED MORE So now after she has downed 8 ounces of prune juice I am watching her closely waiting for the explosion.

Such is my day so far.

Elf

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