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I received a late Christmas Card today. From a friend I have known since grade school. I was quite surprised with what the card said for two reasons. But first what the card said.

Friends and like Panties
Some crawl up your butt
Some don’t have the strength to hold you up.
Some get a little twisted.
Some are your favorite.
Some are holy.
Some are cheap
Some are naughty
And some actually cover your butt when you need them to.

Why was I surprised?
First Reason - It was not a homemade card but a card from a real top end card company. (Name withheld to comply with site rules of no advertising).
Second Reason - I do not own any panties!