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Packing up dead people's things.

A close friend of mine's brother passed away from cancer. Over the past few weeks I have been helping her pack up her brother's things. Sorting through what is to be donated, packed up and moved to her house. Sold etc. It takes forever because one minute it is donate this no wait I want it no I do not have room, wait yes I do and then all the tears. Well we finally got things completed yesterday. At least I think we did. She has a lot of legal work still to do, because he left no will. I have done this a number of times for friends. I want to say no, but I always say yes.
Elf

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That's what friends do. Sometimes people are "Sorry is there anything I can do?" but they don't really mean it. They aren't meaning to be unkind, but it's more of social convention thing. Doing something concrete, like helping friend with a such a task is much more meaningful in the long run.

having help during the grieving process is good. i know what it like to not have a will...i had to go through lawyer when my mom died and it was called an Estate, technically cant sell stuff yet...but if she is only person surviving her brother, as in no parents and he had no children, she may be able to get it all. but the irs likes your chunk of taxes. i can say she better off selling the small things like clothes, furniture before it has to go legal right. cause estates you have to list assets and stuff and the court has to know everything you sell and do.

but anyways... helping her was good... i didnt have help when i was grieving, i spent 2 years in anger and depressed..so hopefully, your friend wont have to be angry or depressed, she knows she has a friend.

bare_elf wrote:

A close friend of mine's brother passed away from cancer. Over the past few weeks I have been helping her pack up her brother's things. Sorting through what is to be donated, packed up and moved to her house. Sold etc. It takes forever because one minute it is donate this no wait I want it no I do not have room, wait yes I do and then all the tears. Well we finally got things completed yesterday. At least I think we did. She has a lot of legal work still to do, because he left no will. I have done this a number of times for friends. I want to say no, but I always say yes.

Elf

Your words helped a lot...

kathycf wrote:

That's what friends do. Sometimes people are "Sorry is there anything I can do?" but they don't really mean it. They aren't meaning to be unkind, but it's more of social convention thing. Doing something concrete, like helping friend with a such a task is much more meaningful in the long run.


While it has been 16 months since mom died intestate(no will) the thing that has helped the mos IS the few who actually helped, even(or especially )little things like getting me to appointments

sigofmugmort1 wrote:
even(or especially )little things like getting me to appointments

I remember feeling so overwhelmed at times that choosing what socks to put on was too much. Having someone to help even with small things was a relief.

My friend still has all her mother's stuff who passed away several years ago, her bother's stuff and all her and her daughters stuff. Most of the stuff lives in her garage. To get anywhere in the garage you need to climb over things. The spare bedroom is stuffed. Now there are a few good things, her brother's 65 inch TV looks good in her living room. The picture is so big you can see the picture clearly from her deck in the back yard, 20 feet away. She really needs to have a garage sale There are things in her garage she has not even looked at in 2 years. I am slowly getting her to believe anything in the house that has not been used in two years needs to go... Well except for the two Japanese Katana Swords That have been in her family for 400 years.
Elf