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I'm feeling sorry for myself. I broke a tooth and now I have to get a root canal and a crown. My tooth really hurts, but the dentist that does root canal stuff is in the office a limited amount of time each week and thus my appointment isn't until May 15. MAY!

I also get frequent pain and stiffness in my neck from when I had spinal surgery plus the occasional migraine. Basically everything hurts AND now I have to call a plumber since the pipe that connects the toilet to the city sewerage pipe is disconnected and is hanging on by a bracket. Gah!

BUT! Instead of whining, and you guys reading a whiny blog, how about some Old Timey Book Shenanigans!

This is a book by Carter Brown, author of many a "cheesy" mystery. So, I'm not really sure what's up with this woman. She may or may not be a corpse, but the real mystery (to me) is why she's grabbing her ass. Is this a sexy pose because it looks wicked uncomfortable to me. Does she feel she needs "support" and "lift" back there because I'm pretty sure you can order buttock supporters on Amazon and really, holding one's ass isn't like the most subtle thing in the world. Yes, a bum supporter may be expensive, but think of all the dignity she'll gain! Don't be a cheapskate, bombshell lady!

Okay, here is another puzzler. This guy's all over the place. He claims he doesn't have bourbon since he has THE Savage Ghost OF MURDER!! in "the file". There's just so much stupid dripping all over this and I'm pretty sure he's got his bourbon stashed nearby anyway. He says his name is Trouble, but then he says it's Chester Drum. He then announces his odd choice of breakfast as if we, the reader, are supposed to be impressed. I don't even remember asking! I'm gonna jump on this train right now - "Yeah, I'm Kathy, the dame who takes oatmeal with a side of murder for breakfast". Hello whole grain and goodbye Trouble!! Pfft, what kind of a badass calls himself "Chester" anyway?

Next up is this World War II gem, apparently authored by the weird long neck lady. It's Wartime ladies and remember, soft lips are what's most important. As a member of the weaker sex you should know this because reasons. Matters of physical strength aside, I'm a woman who takes murder AND oatmeal for breakfast. Ha!

And for our final shenanigan Little LuLu.

Tubby is really holding on to that tricycle there. He's quite the stout fe - um, Yeah. I got nothing. Gosh