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So in the beginning of June I fell down my front steps. I don't even remember what happened. One second I'm at the top of the steps with my house key in hand and the next thing I know is my right arm hitting one of the stairs and then smacking my forehead against the landing. Gravity was not my friend that day.

Since I don't know how I fell, my theory is I was trying to fly. Backwards. Which isn't a good direction to start flying. Gotta rethink my approach on that. If I'm going to try flying, should I try being a super hero/villain too? What kind of powers should I have? Gotta come up with a cool name for myself.

Then I'd have to get a skintight costume. The material is going to have to be one of those moisture wicking sport fabrics since hero-ing around seems like it would be sweaty. I'd have to start thinking about how to find a bra/underpants that's going to fit inside my costume without lines showing through.

Is this outfit even going to be figure flattering? I've found that over the last couple of years that my waist line has kinda bulged outward despite losing weight. This getting older thing sucks, you know? I could wear sweat pants I guess. Doesn't seem all that cool though. Besides I'd have to get my self a secret hideout. Too much. eh, flarp it.

Conclusion: Gravity is a total a-hole.