Neutral Flies

I've gone and lost myself again
From where I stand I need a brand new friend
I've got a message I've been meaning to send
But I've gone and lost my wits again

I never mean to show the pain in my eyes
I intend to feed it to the neutral flies
Afterwards I stare into the starry skies
I never mean to show the plan in my lies

When will it rain?
Will it clean the stains?
When will I see the moon?
Will it end the pain?

What happened to the optimism I used to have?
What happened to me?
What's making me sad?
If this was a game would it be this bad?
What happened to the soul I used to have?